Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Amazing Grace

Have you ever had one of THOSE days? I’m talking about those days where about halfway through it you realize how you should have stayed in bed. Yeah…THOSE days. Well, we all have those days. It’s just kind of a part of life. I am not trying to be a pessimist or trying to be antagonistic, but I am trying to be realistic. Plus I know there isn’t a person reading this who can honestly say they haven’t had one of those days. Well, I recently had one of those days. I think I knew it would be like that when the alarm went off and my first reaction was to throw the blankets over my head and groan. I knew it would be one of those days where I needed grace.

I woke up and did my normal thing all day long, but the problem was that all day long it felt like I was going through the motions. I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary, wasn’t really…living. My day was, using the greatest adjective that comes to mind…blah. It was just a “blah” kind of day. As the day wore on it truly felt like there wasn’t much that would go right. I ran into roadblock after roadblock at work, which compounded my already increasing stress from traffic on the way in to work, and then to make matters worse, rather than relying on God to be my source of peace, my source of hope…well…I decided to push forward on my own…only frustrating me spiritually. It wasn’t till I sat down and truly reflected on what I had read that morning that I realized that the Lord was calling me to rely on Him for peace…and had been all day. This particular morning I read 1 Samuel 2:1-11 and I realized just how much I needed that on this particular day. You see, this little section in 1 Samuel is called “Hannah’s Prayer.” Hannah prayed this prayer as she celebrated what the Lord had done.

Hannah was a woman of faith. If you haven’t read about her or about her faith, I highly recommend it. She was Samuel’s mother, but that’s not the full story. She was also barren. She wasn’t able to have children, and in fact is says “the Lord had closed her womb.” She didn’t let this major inconvenience hold her back. She knew in her heart what she wanted and she knew in her heart the Lord’s will for her life. She prayed earnestly, “O Lord Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.” 1 Sam. 1:11. Wow…wow… I want THAT faith…to look at the impossible and say “nope, that’s not impossible!” Not only did God hear her cry and gave her a son, but He blessed her and she had many children. In fact later on it says “the Lord was gracious to Hannah” when he blessed her with more children. God’s grace granted Hannah the “cry” of her heart and He went above and beyond. Now THAT’s grace!

After taking some time to let all this settle in I realized that I still struggle with the clichéd term “let go and let God!” Yeah, it can be a hard thing to do, but at the same time, what a blessing when He hears you. As this hit me on my drive home from a tough day I just worshipped the Lord. No matter how bad a day can be, God is bigger. No matter how tough a season can be, God is greater. No matter how insurmountable an obstacle may seem, God is bigger. I chose to let traffic, and stress, and life, and finances get in the way of what kind of day the Lord wanted for me. I was overlooking the peace, and hope, and grace He offers every second, every minute. So yeah, when it hit me, all I could do was worship. I am so thankful that I saw Him in the midst of a bad day…because the story doesn’t end there. See, this whole thing is about grace for me. I was desperately in need of it on my incredibly stressful and bad day. Well, wouldn’t you know…God had a nice dose of grace just waiting for me. I was driving on a road that I’ve never driven on before, near my apartment and it was dark. I will admit, I wasn’t paying attention to the posted speed limit. So as I was driving down this dark, unfamiliar road I saw these headlights very close to me and I thought “hmmm..why are they on my tail” but those questions were erased when the red and blue lights flicked on. I knew for sure that I was about to get my first speeding ticket. I was going 50 in a 35. There was NO way I was getting out of this. I just sat and prayed to God that the police officer would show me some grace. After about ten minutes and a good talk, he let me off with a warning. You know something, God is great and His grace is amazing.

So many times we sit back and we try to let all the crud just affect us. I do it all the time. Why? Why do I do this when God is calling out to me? He desires to show His children love. Yes, sometimes that means justice, but most of the time is means grace. God shows His love to us time and time again when He gives us things we definitely don’t deserve and don’t make sense. I have a great job, a great apartment, great health, great friends, an incredible girlfriend, and a loving family. If these people and these things aren’t evidence of God’s grace in my life, then I don’t know what is, and the sad thing is that I so often overlook it all because I want to focus on the negative. Very often I want to be like Alexander and huff and puff about my “Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” but at the same time God is saying “lay it at my feet, let it go, and in my you’ll find peace.” He desires grace for you and for me. I am so very thankful that I had this bad day and that He showed Himself to me in the midst of this. This particular day was a very teachable day and I am thankful He opened my eyes so that I could see and learn.

I believe the psalmist discusses grace and protection very well in Psalm 121.
“I raise my eyes toward the mountains.
Where will my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip
your protector will not slumber.
Indeed, the Protector of Israel does not slumber or sleep.
The Lord protects you. The Lord is a shelter right by your side.
The sun will not strike you by day or the moon by night. The Lord will protect you from all harm;
He will protect your life.
The Lord will protect your coming and going,
both now and forever.”

God’s desire is grace for us, all we have to do is “raise our eyes” to know where our true help comes from. Grace is still a mystery to me, or rather, I still find it difficult to grasp. Incredible, marvelous, astounding, astonishing, wonderful, miraculous, inconceivable, amazing grace…I am not sure I will ever “get” it while I am here on this earth, but oh how sweet it is, how sweet it is.