They are who we THOUGHT they were!

Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinks within himself, so he is.”

Eleanor Roosevelt once said “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” How true that is. I am not big into the self help, Stuart Smalley “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me” mentality. I think that some of that can be incredibly misleading, but there is some truth to it all. As referenced above in Proverbs 23:7, we can change our perception of things, and especially our perception of ourselves, by simply seeing ourselves how we want to be viewed.

I recently met with a very wise man who said that many people are linear in their thinking about themselves and how they relate to others. Many people have an A + B = C mentality. Now let me explain. I am “A” and my friend is “B” and my idea for how our friendship should be is “C.” What ends up happening is that my perception of “B” changes and I begin to feel they’ve let me down because I can’t attain “C.” This is not the way to think. Instead, we must become “C” in spite of “B.”

How does this relate to becoming who you “think within” yourself? Well, we have got to stop leaning on others to define us. We are in charge of our own definition…well us and God. You see; as Eleanor Roosevelt said we can’t be made to feel inferior unless we give others consent, but that is exactly what we do when we give others the power to define us. We have got to start forming a positive mindset about ourselves, with God’s help, and be the person we want to be. No one wants to be miserable, so don’t be. No one wants to be boring, so don’t be. Find definition and submit it to the Lord.

Don’t let others tell you who you are, figure that out on your own. I see far too many people who are distraught, strung out, and mean because they blame others for the way they feel. I speak on this from experience. You see I let others define me for years. I ended up becoming someone I couldn’t even face in the mirror. I didn’t like who I had become, but instead of facing the problem, I grew bitter and blamed others.

That all changed on September 6th, 2008. On that day I arrived in the mountains of Colorado a man in search of his definition. I journaled to the Lord on that day: “I feel so small and insignificant here. I’ve been surrounded by mountains, wildlife, and beautiful scenery all day. Your creation is glorious and perhaps that’s why I feel so small. Am I really created in Your image? It’s hard to fathom that You created the mountains and yet we humans are the one’s created in Your likeness. I’m blown away by that concept. The God of the universe wants to be intimate with me…wow. Lord show me Your glory.” By the end of that week, not only did God show me His glory, but He showed me who He saw me to be. I weep as I write this, but they are tears of joy.

The Lord of creation showed me, Justin, who He saw me as and who He wants me to be. I stopped being so rigid in my time. I show up late to things now…and its ok…just not too late. I started laughing more as well as made it a goal to make others laugh more. I decided to not sit around the house and do nothing. Instead I picked up running, boot camp, and general weight lifting. I lost forty-five pounds and can run three miles in about 21-22 minutes. I started investing in relationships more and looking for ways to serve instead of be served. I don’t say this to brag, but instead I say this to offer hope. I used to have a poor self image. I didn’t like the man I saw, but God opened my eyes to His truth instead of my own jaded version of the truth. I stopped trying to blame others, stopped trying to blame “B” and instead I found my definition and submitted it to the Lord.

Homer Simpson once said “everyone is stupid except me.” That’s the attitude I used to take before I realized that I need to stop worrying about others and instead need to be the man I need to be. “For as he thinks within himself, so he is.” Words to live by my friends. Look at yourself in the mirror today. Are you unhappy? Why is that? Could it be that you aren’t fulfilling your full potential in the Lord? I’d say that’s the very problem. Stop pointing fingers and instead find your definition. God is ready and waiting to help you through your transition. Will you let Him?