Ok, so I have been gone for a while...or at least gone from blogging. My life has been on an emotional rollercoaster over the last six weeks, actually for the last nine months, but the last six weeks have taken me way up and then way down. I just ask for your prayers there. I won't go into the details other than saying I know God has a plan for me and He is with me in the midst of this, but I am having a difficult time actually seeing Him.
I also do see something coming from this...my purpose. I am struggling with what that is and I am praying hard that God will reveal that to me. It's funny, well maybe ironic or sad to say, but last night I watched LOST and saw one of the beloved characters attempt to hang himself. He was doing so because he has lost his faith and lost his purpose. Now I am not saying that I instantly jumped to the thought of "hey...I should do that" but the thought did cross my mind. I think that's when God really grabbed ahold of me. I felt absolutely hopeless last night, like I just can't go on anymore. This pain I feel is about the most intense pain I have ever felt. My heart is broken in a million pieces, my life looks like it is in shambles, and I feel like I have nothing to show for 28 years of existence. But again, God is in control.
Maybe my first 28 years are a wash and maybe God has some big things in store for me in my next 28 years. I have to hold on to that hope and I have to seek out what it is that He wants me to do. So I am just asking for your prayers. Please pray that God will show me what His purpose is for me. I am having a difficult time seeing it, but I know He's calling me...that much I can feel. Love you all and God bless!
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2 comments:
Love you buddy
Lets hang out tomorrow
praying for you... yes, hold onto that hope... hope is vital... do not let it go... press on brother whatever it may be that you are dealing with... there is a rainbow on the other side of the storm
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